Extract from How to heal a broken heart!

finance Feb 27, 2021

Women have, on average, a fifth of the pension savings that men do. I wonder if that is because, however feminist we are, however loud we sing along to Destiny’s Child’s ‘Independent Women’, a lot of us still think, deep down, we will be looked after by a partner... but what should you do if you’re separating from your partner? 

Lisa had some great advice

  • If you find it upsetting to look at your finances, recruit a friend to sit there and go through them with you.Work out what you need to keep you going in the short term. What savings do you have access to? Can you borrow money from friends and family
  • If you have debts, keep a document of what you owe and to whom
  • Remember, legally you are not allowed to look at your partner’s finances without their permission so steer clear of their personal accounts even if you know the passwords
  • Some women have a tendency to seek emotional help from their financial advisor and financial help from their solicitor. This is not cost effective. A therapist or divorce coach is a good idea as they generally cost less per hour and can help you get your head in the right place to look at money matters with more clarity. The financial and legal element of a divorce are factual.
  • If you are in crisis, Christians Against Poverty offer help to people (not just Christians) who are in financial difficulty
  • Check your financial advisor is FCA registered and is ‘independent’ rather than ‘tied’. That means they look for the best deals for you across the market. Try and keep an open mind about financial arrangements. Women often want to keep the house but sometimes it makes more sense not to
  • Lisa says in an ideal world you would have the financial conversation directly with your ex. But we all know that is sometimes not possible.

When it comes to separating your entangled finances, you want to be strong enough so you’re not taken advantage of but not so stubborn you can’t see what to compromise on. Lisa thinks it’s important to get moving on finances ASAP after your split, not least if you have any reason to think that your ex might not be straight with you about your shared assets. But personally, and this is just my situation, I’m glad I waited a little longer as I just didn’t feel strong enough to tackle it sooner.

Learn more about Rosie here: www.lifesrosie.co.uk

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